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That Feeling

Have you ever had that feeling where you know what is going to happen?  That feeling where in your stomach when your gut tells you what is going to happen or what you think of someone the first time you meet someone for the first time.  That gut feeling that just comes that is so strong that as a writer, I could come up with a great enough metaphor or simile or some other way to describe it that doesn’t seem clichéd.  Yet, it feels like every fiber of your being is trying to tell you something; yet your brain is trying so hard not to let you get distracted with the mighty force that is your body.

I found out yesterday afternoon that I didn’t get the Co-President position for Student Senate.  I had this feeling on Thursday afternoon that Nick & I were going to lose.  I don’t want to come off as this person with low self-esteem or that I want to come off as someone who is trying hard not to seem unhappy.  But, it’s strange.  I think I listen to my gut so much now these days.

During the interview process for RA this past spring, I had this feeling halfway through it that I was going to end up on the alternates list for being a RA.  When I had applied for the University Liaison position, I knew after the interview that I wouldn’t get the position-granted, I think that one thing that has something to do with it is that I still feel like I had a crappy interview is that I had gotten some weird vibes from Michael for a few days prior to the interview, which could be a whole blog post in itself.

I could just be the person who now expects the worst and my gut may be starting to reflect this.  But, I think that I am at the point in my life where I need to pull an Eat, Pray, Love and do something to make myself feel more alive.  Something where I can get away from the same things I do daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly.  I am in such a routine that I wouldn’t be surprised if on April 2nd of 2012, I am watching TV or a movie in my dorm room.  I also wouldn’t be surprised if I was so board out of my mind and sick of doing homework.

It’s starting to feel like my gut is trying to tell me, ‘this is your life.  A life of disappointments and rejections and boredom, so get use to it now so it won’t suck as bad in 10 years.’  I think that the feeling of boredom is your gut’s-or your whole body-way of saying that you need change.  With everything that there is to do out there in the world, it’s amazing that people even have the ability of being bored.

I just feel that my gut is even more burnt out than the rest of me.

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