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Truth or Silence

Here’s a question I have for the masses:

If honest is the best policy and if you nothing to nice to say, don’t say anything are the things we taught as children, what happens if when you’re honest, you say something hurtful?

This is one of the age old questions…or at least a question that’s worth asking.  After all, aren’t we all taught that lying is bad and that being truthful is respected?

According to an article written by Dr. Bella DePaulo, Dr. BePaulo states in terms of romantic relationships if it’s a small one:

In romantic relationships that are not married relationships, people lie in one out of every three conversations.  With a spouse, they lie in one out of every 10 conversations.

Dr. DePaulo does state that it is unclear why people start lying less once they are married.  Yet, when it comes to lies about affairs or other serious things in a romantic relationship, then the person will lie about that.

Yahoo actually had an opinion piece published in 2007.  The opinion, entitle “5 Lies Told by Men in Relationships” posted by Michelle Knudson states five things men lie about.  They are:

  1. My ex was crazy
  2. I would never do that to you babe
  3. I’m sorry
  4. I’m not ready to get married
  5. They ask you to get married to soon

All though I can respect Knudson’s point of view on these lies being told in a romantic relationship.  But men aren’t the only ones that use these lies.

Now in terms of the truth in friendships, a website called Fearless Living had a post that stated:

Friends are only friends if they are willing to tell you the truth. Otherwise, they are just mere acquaintances.

In other words: you should not lie to people who are you’re friends, because otherwise they aren’t your friends.

Regardless of all of that, I don’t think there is any way to know what is the right thing to do.  After all, if telling the truth was the best thing, then we wouldn’t have to hold back the things that aren’t nice.

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  1. February 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

    This is the problem with teaching kids maxims instead of critical thinking – we still think in absolutes as adults. It’s a matter of choice. Choosing to focus on the positive in any situation isn’t necessarily dishonesty. Nor is pointing out someone’s negative aspects always mean. A marriage should be a relationship of open communication. That doesn’t mean telling your spouse everything; it means that there is enough trust between you that you can and will talk about the important things.

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